When Being Liked Gets in the Way of Leading

Are You Leading… or Just Trying to Be Liked?

Hey friend,

Let’s shoot straight: if you’re feeling stressed every time you make a tough call or enforce a decision that people don’t love, you’re not alone. But you may be caught in a leadership trap—the need to be liked more than respected.

Let’s break this down.

1. Being Liked vs. Being Respected

These two are not the same—not even close:

• ✅ Being liked is about seeking approval.
  
• ✅ Being respected is about earning trust.
  

Think about your favorite coach or teacher. You probably didn’t always like them in the moment—but you respected them for being fair, firm, and focused on your growth.

👉 Respect builds influence.
👉 Being liked builds comfort—and comfort rarely drives transformation.

2. Get to the Root: Identity Over Image

This isn’t just about tough calls. It’s about who you believe you are.

Ask yourself:

• 🤔 What am I afraid will happen if someone doesn’t like me?
  
• 🤔 Have I confused my role with my worth?
  

Your value isn’t at risk every time someone disagrees with your decision. You are not your popularity. You’re a leader—and leadership often comes with tension.

3. Leadership Is Not a Popularity Contest

Here’s a mindset shift:
You’re not called to make everyone happy. You’re called to lead people somewhere that matters—even if it’s uncomfortable.

• A good parent sets boundaries.
  
• A great coach makes tough calls.
  
• A strong leader does what’s right, not what’s easy.
  

Stop chasing applause. Start chasing mission.

4. Train for Tough Conversations

Leading well doesn’t mean being harsh—it means being honest and steady.

When you need to make a call that may ruffle feathers:

• ✅ Be clear – explain the “why” behind the decision.
  
• ✅ Be kind – show empathy without guilt.
  
• ✅ Be consistent – no surprises, no double standards.
  

Try saying:

“I know this may not be a popular decision, but it’s what’s best for the mission. I’m open to hearing your concerns.”

Let your spine stay straight while your tone stays kind.

5. Watch What Happens Over Time

Leadership is a long game.

As you lead with clarity and courage:

• 💡 People will begin to trust your intentions.
  
• 💡 They’ll understand your standards.
  
• 💡 They’ll stop testing your boundaries.
  

You may hear some grumbling at first—but eventually, they’ll follow your lead. Because they’ll know exactly where you stand.

6. Look to Jesus: Leading with Truth and Grace

Jesus loved deeply—but He didn’t shy away from conflict.

• He flipped tables.
  
• He corrected His own team.
  
• He told hard truths.
  

“Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you…” – Luke 6:26

He wasn’t chasing likes—He was chasing obedience, with truth and grace hand in hand.

That’s your model.

🔑 Final Word: Choose Leadership Over Approval

You can either lead people or try to please them—but not both.

Respect may cost more up front, but it pays off in:

• Trust
  
• Loyalty
  
• Long-term impact
  

So let the applause go.
Do the right thing.
And love your team enough to lead them—even when it’s hard.

💬 Want a Printable Version?

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